So what do you think of me?

One of my all-time favourite cartoons shows a man and woman on their first date, sitting at a table in a restaurant, chatting over coffee.   They are just getting to know each other, and the man has been telling the woman about himself.  Realizing that he’s been going on about himself long enough, he turns to her and says “But enough about me – let’s talk about you.  What do you think of me?”

We laugh, but we’re not so different.  Underneath the veneer of self-assurance, our hearts cry out to know that we are OK, that we are acceptable, that we are highly valued, that we are loved and respected, that others think well of us.  Most people seldom talk about such things, because even admitting our need makes us feel vulnerable, but these longings are deeply imprinted on the human heart.

No-one enters marriage hoping for a stormy, strife-filled marital relationship.  Every engaged couple longs for a great marriage.  Yet it’s easy to see that not all marriages are good ones.   Why is this?  Many factors make marriage a challenge, but I’m convinced that the biggest single factor is the self-preoccupation that is so evident in the cartoon clip described above.  We long for intimacy and trust, yet we ourselves build the walls that keep others out and make true intimacy impossible.

The hunger for acceptance and affirmation is a reflection of how we were made.  From the very beginning we were created for intimacy with God and with one another, but our Enemy has used this hunger against us.  Ever since Adam and Eve took the fruit of the tree of knowledge, our race has been cursed with an inclination to choose independence over surrender.  Satan knows this about us – he knows that there is a chasm separating us from the One who can meet the true need of our hearts – and he is right there, waiting in the shadows to fill the void with a toxic brew of unforgiveness, regrets, bitterness, fear, inferiority, superiority, pride, self-will, anger, and control.  He specializes in drawing perceived or real grievances to our attention and magnifying them in our eyes, so that we feel justified in our self-preoccupation (“Can you believe what he/she did to me?”) , never realizing that we do the exact same thing to others.  In our wounded, deceived condition, we have swallowed the Enemy’s lie that we have to look out for ourselves and can trust no-one. This lie is so deeply embedded in the core of our being that, as Paul says, we can’t help ourselves.   This is why marriages fail – because both partners enter the marriage with wounded and polluted hearts and minds, crying out for love, and looking to their marriage partner to meet a need that can only be met when we surrender our independence and humbly turn to the healer of our souls.

You don’t have to be a Christ-follower to recognize that self-preoccupation is a big problem in human relations.  Not surprisingly, psychological studies (1, 2) suggest a link between self-preoccupation and depression.  I recently came across some reflections on this issue by Jayarava, a Buddhist monk.  As I read his words, I found them quite perceptive.  He notes that the practice of reflection, and life in community, are both of some help in taming the beast of self-preoccupation.  However, he ends his reflections by saying that he is still waiting for real deliverance.  He has found no true freedom because he has only his own resources, and the help of his friends, to call upon.  As valuable as these things are, they are not enough without the power of God.  Religion doesn’t have the power to set us free, our friends don’t have the power to set us free, but Jesus is able to set us free.  That’s because he forever broke the power of self-preoccupation by surrendering himself to the will of the Father so that we could be forgiven and could learn to live in a new way.

God is absolutely passionate in his love for his errant human children, but until we surrender our independence and admit our need, we can’t see his love for what it is.  He desires to demonstrate to each one of us the love that compelled Jesus to give his life for us.  We only really discover freedom when, out of gratitude to the One who has set us free, we are able to ask a different question – not “who can love me”, but “whom can I love”.   When we are able to ask this question, and depend on Jesus for the grace to walk it out, then we are on the way to a satisfying, fruitful life characterized by enduring peace, and a reward that endures for eternity.

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Atheism – faith without evidence

This post is going to be a bit different from most.  I want to comment briefly on two related belief systems – atheism and evolutionism.   I will be making a number of claims regarding creation and evolution without backing them up in detail.   Supporting evidence and arguments for all my claims can be found on the web site of Creation Ministries International as well as elsewhere.

Atheists usually contend that atheism is based on reason whereas Christian faith is unprovable and non-rational.  My assertion is that this is a false contrast.   I maintain that atheism is not a rational position but an irrational one – that it is not based on reason or evidence, but on a decision of the will to reject God in the face of compelling evidence to the contrary.  In the interest of keeping this post relatively brief, I won’t venture into a full discussion of these assertions here, but will content myself with a few points, hoping to spur you to further reflection.   My motivation for addressing these issues is to encourage my readers not to be intimidated by the claims of evolutionary faith, but to educate yourselves about these issues so that you are able to answer anyone who asks you to give a reason for the hope that you have.

Atheism is not a new phenomenon.  There were atheists in Biblical times too, and the Apostle Paul describes their atheism as an intentional choice, stating that they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God.  Interestingly, if you listen to an atheist for very long, they usually sound quite angry at the God in whom they claim not to believe – thus belying their claim that their atheism is based on reason.  Psychologist Paul Vitz concluded, after studying the lives of some of the most influential atheists, that they rejected God because they rejected their own fathers, whether due to a poor relationship with their fathers, the absence of their fathers, or their own rebellion (The Psychology of Atheism, Dr. Paul Vitz, 1997).

Atheism and Darwinian evolutionary belief go hand in hand.  Many Christians are handicapped in their faith due to having accepted the widespread belief that Darwinian evolution is a proven fact of science.   In fact, Darwin had no real evidence to support his theory of evolution (see The child is father of the man).  There is plenty of evidence of speciation (new species being formed) but absolutely no evidence that this took place via the mechanism proposed by Darwin, according to which totally new forms of life (eg. a fish becoming an amphibian becoming a mammal) arose through spontaneous mutations.

The only form of evolution that is provable by observational science is natural selection within an existing gene pool, in which the new species is clearly related to its originating species, can still interbreed with it, and is really a variant form of a very similar creature.   For example, all breeds of dogs, foxes and wolves probably arose through natural selection from a prototypical dog/wolf kind which would have had more genetic diversity than today’s breeds of dogs.  The differences between breeds of dogs were attained mostly through selective breeding (breeding for certain characteristics)  which is done by selecting from among existing genetic information, not adding new information.  Some characteristics of certain breeds of dogs also arose through mutations (see Is Your Dog Some Kind of Degenerate Mutant?), but these mutations again involve the loss of genetic material, not the creation of new genetic material.

There are many logical problems with Darwin’s proposal, but I will address only one.  If his theory was correct, there ought to be a myriad of transitional forms in the fossil record.  In fact,  no-one has ever found a fossil of a transitional form between two clearly different forms of life.  Dr. Colin Paterson of the British Museum, a highly-respected scientist and committed evolutionist, stated that there is not one fossil of a transitional form for which evolutionists could make a watertight argument.   On the contrary, a wealth of fossil evidence shows fully developed species which – leaving aside those that have gone extinct – are essentially the same as creatures that are alive on the earth today except in regard to size.

But why does this even matter?  Can’t you believe in Jesus and also accept evolution?  Yes, you can, but your faith will be severely compromised in many ways.   When I first came to faith in Christ I was a committed evolutionist.  I had some scientific training – some of which, at least when it comes to the topic of evolution, I now recognize as not far removed from brainwashing – and believed that Darwinian evolution was the only intellectually respectable option.  When I learned that there were intelligent, articulate, reasonable Christians who believed in creation, that most of the pioneers of science were creationists, and that many excellent contemporary scientists still believe in Biblical creation, my eyes were opened to new possibilities and my faith in God and his Word was greatly strengthened.  The Bible is clear that God made the world in wisdom.  It is liberating and faith-building to realize that God does not require us to suspend our intelligence in order to believe in Jesus.  On the contrary, faith in Biblical creation is intellectually satisfying and well-supported by an increasing body of scientific evidence – even though this evidence is not usually reported or interpreted as such in mainstream science.   Dr. Dudley Eirich, a molecular biologist at the University of Illinois, put it this way.

Once you understand evolution, it takes more faith [in the colloquial sense of blind credulity] to believe it than to believe in creation.  And there really is a lot of faith involved; they don’t have many answers to the big questions.  (Manipulating Life , Creation, December 2004)

I said at the beginning of this post that atheism is not based on reason – that it is a choice not to believe.  Christianity isn’t based on reason either.   Like atheism, faith in Christ is a choice — a decision of the heart, the mind and the will.  I’m convinced that it is a choice supported by far more evidence than any other choice you could make, but in the end it is still a choice.   Having at one time counted myself as an atheist, and having considered these issues very carefully over many years, I choose to put my faith in the One who made heaven and earth, the sea and all that is in them, who keeps faith forever.  I invite, encourage and urge you to do the same.

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So you’re a control freak?

So you’re a control freak?  Welcome to the human race.

“Not me”, you protest.  “You’ve got the wrong person.  If you want to see a real control freak, look at so-and-so”.

OK, so maybe you don’t think you have a problem with control.  My one-question test will prove you wrong.  Simply answer this question honestly:  Do you want your own way?   Of course you do.  Everyone does.   You, along with the rest of the human race, are a control freak.

As we grow up, we learn that controlling others is not socially acceptable.  That’s because the people around us are just as bent on control as we are.  We learn to work out compromises to keep from destroying one another, and we become more adept at various subtle and crafty methods for getting our own way.  That doesn’t change the fact that secretly (sometimes not so secretly) we still want to be in charge; we still want our own way; we still want to be in control.   The drive to be in control has been at the core of human nature ever since the serpent tricked Adam and Eve with the alluring but empty promise of becoming gods unto themselves.  This, of course, explains why human history has been so full of wars and conflicts.

We try to control others for various reasons.  Some people try to control others simply because they love power, but in years of ministry I’ve observed that the most common motivation for control is not lust for power, it’s fear – ironically, fear of being controlled by someone else.   We try to control others because we don’t trust anyone but ourselves.   After all, the people around us are just like us – they want to be in control too – so why should we trust them?

The problem with trying to be in control is that no matter how good you are at it, eventually even the best system breaks down.  And the more controlling you have been, the more lonely and isolated you will probably be when all your schemes finally crumble and you have to face the awful truth that you’re not God after all.

There is a remedy, of course.  It’s called the cross.   The blows we take in life are designed by God to lead us to this place of surrender.   He places obstacles in our path not because He hates us but because He loves us and desires our freedom.  When we’re finally willing to give up our illusions, He leads us to the feet of the One who is worthy to be in control — Jesus, the Lamb of God, who has demonstrated his worthiness by living a life in complete submission to the Father.  He does not break the bruised reed of our life – instead he gently and kindly restores our soul and teaches us a whole new way of living.

Ironically, the more we get used to walking this path of surrender, the more real influence we can have on the lives of those around us.  That’s because as our hearts are restored and the desire to obey God gradually replaces the desire for control, those around us find it easier to trust us and open up their hearts to us — and so we have the amazing privilege of planting and nurturing seeds of new life and hope in those who, like us, are discovering the bankruptcy of the world’s ways and learning where true freedom can be found.  This is a life-long process, and it’s costly – but it’s also wonderfully rewarding, both in this life and in eternity.

Control freaks of the world, surrender – you have nothing to lose but your chains.

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The way up is the way down

I am tired of religion, tired of going to church.  I am hungry for revival.

I have tasted the dynamic, life-giving presence of God – the electric flow of the Holy Spirit – the sweetness of the love and mercy of Jesus.   I don’t ever want to get used to living without this.

I have also experienced the beauty of genuine, transparent Christian community with a group of believers who are committed to knowing one another in ways that get beyond the surface, and helping one another walk faithfully with Christ in the midst of life’s ups and downs.  I don’t ever want to get used to living without this either.

Over the past few weeks I’ve been reading – for the third time – a series of powerful historical novels by Jack Cavanaugh about a group of young dissident Christians in Hitler’s Germany.  The series chronicles how the lives of these young believers were affected by their decision to rescue a number of disabled children from the Hadamar Clinic, a facility devoted to their destruction.  The last book in the series, which I am currently reading, is set in post-war East Germany.  As residents of the Eastern part of Berlin, after the war they came under the boot of the Soviets, which they found to be not much better than life under Hitler.  To toughen themselves against the constant deprivations, drabness and bleakness of life under Communist rule, they used a mantra.  “You can get used to anything”, they would say to one another.

It is one thing to toughen yourself to withstand political repression and material deprivations for the sake of the Kingdom.  This may be a necessary discipline, required for obedience and victory.  After all, Christ-followers are in a war against the Prince of Darkness, and in some times and places that warfare becomes quite visible in the political realm.  We are told in the Book of Revelation that we should expect an intensification of such warfare in the Great Tribulation to come.

Yes, we can get used to withstanding hardship without complaint for the sake of the joy to come.  But what is ultimately much more tragic is when we get used to living without the spiritual riches that are promised to us in Christ.   When spiritual dullness, dryness and barrenness are our constant experience, eventually they seem normal.   This is far worse than getting used to living with material deprivation and political repression.  “You can get used to anything”.  Yes you can, but at a cost.  When what you are getting used to is life without the daily experience of the presence of the Lord, the cost is too high.  As John White wrote 20 years ago in his masterful study of revival phenomena, “Certainly we learn lessons in drought that could never be learned in a cloudburst.  But who would want to settle for permanent drought?” (When the Spirit Comes with Power, ©1988 InterVarsity Press, p. 236).

Marion and I look forward to our weekly Skype chats with Simeon and Heather.   We enjoy these chats even more now that Sophie, our eight-month-old granddaughter, is beginning to recognize and respond to those two funny-looking old people who appear on the laptop screen each week and talk to her.  A few days ago, when Simeon turned the screen towards Sophie so that we could see her face, she favoured us with a huge grin.  This was a first, as up until now she had wanted to grab the computer but hadn’t really interacted with us during Skype calls, and it made our day!  Her smile spoke volumes – it said that she recognized us as part of her world and was happy to see us.

I want to be close enough to the Father to see his smile.  Many things in my life bring a measure of joy and satisfaction – going for a walk on a beautiful day, playing racquetball, solving a problem at work, playing my guitar, times of intimacy with my wife.  All of these are reflections of God’s goodness, but none of them compares with the sweetness of the manifest presence of the Lord.  Without him, every other joy is ultimately empty.  With him, all other joys are that much more satisfying, and even sorrows, deprivations and trials are transformed until they drip with meaning.

As I was thinking of these things recently, I was prompted to re-read a little classic called The Calvary Road, which I first came across just a few years ago although it was written in 1947.  It is a deceptively brief and simple little book but its message probes the depths of the heart.

I was reminded that the way up is the way down.   If we are hungry and thirsty for a life dripping with the dew of God’s presence, there is only one way forward, and that is to humble ourselves before Him every day in dependency, transparency and (where necessary) repentance, leading to the simple obedience of faith.  We can’t do this alone, we can only do it in community.  If we try to do it alone, we deceive ourselves.  By ourselves we don’t see our own hearts clearly enough, but with the help of brothers and sisters, we can walk in the light – and if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.   The promise of Jesus still stands : Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

The way up is the way down.  If you are already daily tasting the fullness of the life of Christ in you, then God bless you – carry on!  But if you are tired of things as they are, and know there must be more, will you humble yourself and seek with me the only One who holds the key to life as it was meant to be lived?

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